March 31

Dearest Isaiah,

Today is Easter, and two weeks from today is your birthday. 

Hope & pain.
Joy & sorrow.
Life & death.
Eternal & temporal.

These opposing realities are colliding in my heart and my mind.

The Truth is, death brought life.  Without the death of my precious Savior, there could be no eternal life.  Life because of death. Beauty from ashes.  I am so thankful that Jesus, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross.  I am so thankful that God punished His one and only son in my place.

The truth is that without your death, Isaiah, Daniel and I would not be as focused on eternity, on Heaven, on serving our Lord and Savior.  We are different people.  The things that God is doing in us are good and beautiful and full of life. 

There is a sadness though.  Because the truth is, death is our enemy.  It brings sadness. And my heart is still very sad.  When I watched your cousin last night-- just 2 months younger than you- toddle around, learning to walk and give high fives, there is a pain in my heart that is so very great. When your sister cries before going to sleep at night and tells me for the 5 millionth time that she is scared that I may die too (because this death thing-- apparently it can strike anyone anywhere), I just want to weep.  My precious daughter should not have to fear these things. 

But, in the midst of all this pain and sadness, there is this hope.  Hope that is sure.  Hope that is an anchor for my storm tossed soul.  Death WILL be conquered. And Christ HAS risen from the grave to prove it.

One day, I WILL be in Heaven with my precious Savior, and with you, my sweet son. 

In the midst of such sorrow, this hope, this Truth-- oh how it brings such comfort and joy. 

Oh Isaiah-- Praise God for ALL He has done!!

 An amazing song.