Nov 22
Dearest Isaiah,
Today is Thanksgiving.  When I look back a year ago-- I probably thought this Thanksgiving would be good.  But its terrible.  You are not here.  Oh Isaiah- this faith thing- this believing that God is really who He says He is- that He really is involved- that He really does care is hard.  Very Very hard. 
My mom and I end our fast from sugar today.  I had so prayed that God would bring a baby by today.  I believe He still can.  Oh how wonderful a call would be!
My devotional for today:
   "Do You believe that I am able to do this?" Matt. 9:28 Wow-- yes I do believe. 

Isaiah baby-- I wish you and your 7 1/2month self were coming to the beach with us today.  I wish I was packing up the pack and play, your clothes, your diapers....
Missin ya.
Love ya!

Nov 25
"But when the most stable becomes unstable, there should be no fear because of the transcendent stability of God."
Dearest Isaiah-- over the last 7 1/2 months much of what was stable in my life has become unstable.  But God has remained.  Stable and constant.  And present.  I haven't always felt his presence, but I know He is here. 

Nov 26
Dearest Isaiah,
About 30 minutes after we returned from the beach yesterday, a little girl (3yo)(nicknamed Emmie for privacy) came to stay with us.  The director had called me on Thanksgiving Day (yes, the very day my mom and I ended our fast!) and asked if I would be willing to watch her some.  Her home life is not the best.  I was headed out the door to the beach, but said we would when we got home!  Well, we are home and she is here.  AnnaGrace and Kate have all done pretty good with her so far but we will see if the honeymoon period wears off. 
Maybe God has a sense of humor.  I want a baby boy.  I have prayed and fasted for a baby boy.  I have gotten a 3 yo girl :)  All kidding aside, I am so very thankful we can provide a safe haven for her.  I prayed over her last night as she slept.  I know God hears.  I know He is powerful.  I hope we can see beauty come from ashes. 
Oh and when we got home, we found a note on our mailbox. 

"God is faithful"

Well, sweet boy, b/c of your life and death, a precious 3 yo is having a safe place to sleep tonight.  Wonder what God is going to do with this situation?

Love ya!