Later, my mom asked me what I wanted her to say when people ask that question. Without hesitation, I told her to include Isaiah in the count.
What do ya'll do? When people ask how many children you have, do you just tell them the total number (3 in my case) and not explain where that third one is. Or do you say three and then explain the whole story? Or do you say two here and one in heaven?
Arggg. Will this grieving stuff ever get easier?
On a slightly lighter note...Love some of the lyrics of the song Forever Reign by One Sonic Society....
"You are light...
When the darkness closes in
You are hope...
You've covered all my sin
You are peace...
When my fear is crippling
You are truth...
Even in my wandering
You are joy...
You're the reason that I sing
You are life...
In You death has lost it's sting
When the darkness closes in
You are hope...
You've covered all my sin
You are peace...
When my fear is crippling
You are truth...
Even in my wandering
You are joy...
You're the reason that I sing
You are life...
In You death has lost it's sting
You are more...
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord...
All creation will proclaim
You are here...
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God...
Of all else I'm letting go"
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord...
All creation will proclaim
You are here...
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God...
Of all else I'm letting go"
It's so random. It depends on the day. But usually I never ask anyone how many children they have and hope they never think to ask me. If they do I say the truth that includes Eva and leave it at that. I don't tell them where the missing child is. And I have considered telling them she's with her great-grandma but it's never happened yet. If they push I tell them she's in Heaven and then I deal with the I'm sorry's etc...but whatever. I don't want to deny my daughter. She is my daughter always and forever, no matter what. And my mom always includes her in the count, usually...see it's a crooked, difficult path.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you as you navigate it.
Em
I was at a mom's group meeting about a month after Griffin died, and we went around the table saying who we are and a little bit about ourselves. No surprise that what everyone told about themselves was how many kids they have! I spent the whole time fretting over what I would say. Not over whether I did or did not want to acknowledge him, but because I was not in the mood to talk about it right then. Most of the women there I've known for quite a while and they all knew what had happened, but there were a few newbies there, and I just didn't want any questions. So when it came my turn, I didn't say how many kids I have. I said 'My name is Jen and my daughter Emily is the short little one running around'. Later, I wished I would have said something, because generally I do love talking about him (and it did come up anyways when the leader was praying).
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to know what to say. I think my standard response will be "I have been blessed with 2 beautiful children".