I received a phone call this morning from a friend.  She started by saying... this will be a hard conversation.  My heart sank.  She went on to tell me that a fellow friend of ours had just found out that her baby had passed away. She is approx. 20 weeks pregnant.  I cried for her. My friend asked me for suggestions on what she can say/do/tell the friend as she prepares to be induced.  I told her some things like:
1. Hold the baby.  Hold the baby for as long as she wants.
2. Take pictures of the baby.
3. Weep. Cry. Grieve.
4. Dress the baby in a little bunting style outfit (we may provide one for her).
5. Wrap the baby in a special blanket and then keep that blanket forever and always.


What suggestions would you offer?


And here is the note that I wrote to her...

Dear B,

Please know that I have been and will continue to pray earnestly for you and your family as you walk down this difficult, difficult path…   

“Oh Abba Father, how I pray for my precious sister B.

I pray that, right now, she will sense the nearness of You; that as she weeps, she will know that You are so very close.  That you are a God Who is near to the broken hearted and that You are holding her. 

I pray that she will feel the closeness of eternity… that she would know that her sweet baby is alive, alive with our Savior, and that she will see him again. 

I pray that as she walks through the coming days and months, that You would help her.  That You would be her constant source of strength when she feels so very weak. 

That You would be her light when the world seems so very dark and cloudy. 

That You would be her joy when all seems so so sad.

I pray for her arms (oh how I know so well that they will ache… ache to hold the precious baby that she loved so dearly).  Father, will you help those aching arms?

I pray for her heart.  Oh Father, help her as she learns to live with a broken heart.   

I pray that You would allow her to see the beauty that You will bring from this situation.  You are a God who brings great beauty from ashes… please Father allow B to see this beauty and to find comfort in it.

I pray that she will know that her baby’s life mattered.  You did not create nor give life in vain.  You did not make a mistake.  This little life had great purpose. 

 

Oh Father, please comfort and help sweet B and her family.

 

In the name of Jesus, I pray these things.  Amen. “

 

Please know that I am here if you ever want to talk/text/email.

 

Tears and much love,

Julie