Tough times this week:
~Waiting in a line and a pregnant lady gets in line behind me.  I wanted to run away.  I literally had to work really hard to just stand still.  Is it crazy that I still feel panicky/sad/angry/jealous when seeing pregnant women?  Shouldn't I be better by now?
~My sis in law sent a text announcing her 4th pregnancy.  Yep, she was pregnant with her third when I was pregnant with Isaiah, my third.  Yep, she got her son.  And, yep, she is pregnant again! I am so very happy for them.  I am so very sad that its not that easy for me. Now, I'm just waiting for my other sister in law (who was also pregnant when I was pregnant) to announce that she's pregnant....

Sweet times this week:
~Sitting in the nursery that would have been Isaiah's room and rocking my sweet rainbow son "J" while watching my sweet foster son "C" play.  Knowing that I have been able to love on two boys who have also experienced a loss in their little lives is somehow comforting.
~Listening to my oldest daughter AnnaGrace call J her "best bud in the whole wide world".  I love the sweet relationship between them!   I love that she has a little brother here on earth.  I am so thankful for his precious, miraculous life.

In the bike trailer together.
I know, I know, J looks a little funny here. :)

Confusing time this week:
~Meeting C's mom at the foster care review board meeting, and watching as the board reviewed the case against her and then delivered some hard news.  She cried.  I felt so sorry for her.  I felt a little angry too--why had she done those things to her precious son?  Didn't she realize what a gift he was? But, mostly, I felt sorry for her.  I wonder what her life has been like.  What her life is currently like.  I tried to comfort her a little.  She asked me to give her son a hug from her.  I understand the feeling of losing a son and just wanting to simply give him a hug.  I told her I definitely would. And I did.
~Emmie is having a terrible time.  She starts counseling on Friday.  I hope it helps.  I just need to do one whole post on the situation with her.  Its just really hard stuff.