In memory, the shape of God's yesterday-heart emerges and assures of God's now-heart and reassures of His sure beat tomorrow. ... It is thanksgiving that shapes a theology of trust... Isn't this what ultimately Christ asks of us in the Last Supper? ... Do this in remembrance of me. Remember and give thanks. This is the crux of Christianity: to remember and give thanks, eucharisteo."
This excerpt is from one of my favorite books... 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
"In everything, give thanks."
Losing my son, though? Should I really give thanks in that?
Yes, I think so.
Because, I'm realizing that when we force ourselves to thank our Heavenly Father, we receive a gift. In thanking Him, we come to really, truly see that He is trustworthy, that He is good. And then, in turn, we can face the future and be unafraid of what it holds.
So, as I lay in bed this morning, I decided to try to come up with a list of things that I was thankful for during the days surrounding the loss of my son:
- For my husband who tenderly took care of me as my heart shattered in a million pieces.
- For a sweet nurse who cradled my sons body so gently, bathing him and dressing him as if he were alive.
- For a doctor who cried.
- For a friend who simply gave a silent hug with tears streaming down her face.
- For my brother who held my son.
- For sister in laws who came to the hospital to just sit and be there.
- For a mother in law who took care of my precious daughters while her own heart was breaking.
- For my precious girls who came with sweet gifts to cheer up their momma.
- For a nurse who herself knew the pain of stillbirth.
- For my mom who didn't leave my side, weeping when I wept, comforting as only a mom can.
- For my dad who sat by my bed and reminded me of Truth.
- For a photographer who took beautiful pictures of my son.
- For a "records & certificates" lady who first gave a hug and whispered words of comfort before doing the job she is paid to do.
- For friends, so many friends, who prayed, cried, sent hundreds (literally!) of cards, made meals, visited, cleaned my home..... precious, precious friends
- For people that I have never met who sent letters and gave money.
- For a group at church who decided to cover the cost of the mortuary.
But the thing I am most thankful for is:
- A God who gave His own son and who promised:
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you. Is 43:2
and He was faithful to keep His promise.
What about you? In remembering your darkest time, is there anything you can give thanks for?
Julie
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I comment as tears fall down my cheek. What a beautiful spirit you have to choose thankful even in such a time of incredible loss. May God honor your thankful heart as He continues to heal your brokenness.
You are inspiring me today.
((Hugs)) Kim
wow, what a painfully beautiful post. I don't think I can be grateful Charlie is gone...but you have inspired me to be more grateful for the tender mercies I've received surrounding that day and the horrible days, weeks, months that followed (are still following).
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. I'm sure you wept as you wrote it. I am thankful that Heaven has become a very real place to my sons and our family and that our heart yearns to be there.
ReplyDeleteI cannot be thankful for His taking of my daughter. However I think you do have a point that there are things to be thankful for and in recognizing those things there is a sad beauty in death, it showed me things I would not have seen otherwise. Most of me would rather have her and be ignorant to the new outlook I have. It really is a beautiful post.
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